The Fantastic Furniture Adventure

We are having a bit of work done to the house which means we need some new furniture, I have been scouring the internet for my ideal sofa and the perfect wine table but you really need to see these items in the flesh… or wood… or metal or whatever… Sooooo yesterday my mum and I decided to schlep over to one of those massive retail parks for a spot of shopping – with my two under 4’s in tow.

It started off well, the girls didn’t cry or moan for the car journey thanks to my mum whipping Eccles cakes out of her handbag (what a woman) and passing them back to grabbing little hands. We even made it to Sofology in good time given that my sat nav usually takes us where we want to go via Uranus.

The first shop was exemplary, we managed to look at the offerings with Gigi staying in her pushchair and Scarlett testing the comfort of sofa’s without getting her shoes on the upholstery.

It went downhill from there.

In Homesense where around 78% of the products are on the EXTREMELY FRAGILE list, Scarlett had her grabbing hands out and when I went to hold her hand to lead her away from a display of blown glass ornaments she did that jerking away and collapsing to the floor in tantrum move which very nearly gave me a brain hemorrhage.

Here she is looking at some cool palm tree’s – possibly hugging one a little too tightly!

After that we walked a nautical mile across the carpark to Ikea where immediately Gigi wanted to get out of her pram meaning I had to awkwardly hold her and push the pram whilst navigating my way around the labyrinthine arrow system. My arms gave up halfway round so I had to take 5 to regain the feeling in my tricep.

Our attempts at getting through the children’s area without delay were hampered by negotiating Scarlett out of a play tunnel using a complex combination of bribery and minor threats but on the plus side we reached the exit without buying anything!!! Not a single pillar candle, wine glass or washing up brush!!! Miraculous.

The last stop Barker Stonehouse has a slightly superior atmosphere, one might go as far as saying snooty. We were stood with a smartly attired sales assistant called Simon discussing the price of a settee whilst the girls had a crawling race across a formidably expensive looking sheepskin rug. Grandma was comatosed in a giant armchair and I was looking through the fabric swatch when I heard a strange gnawing sound which turned out to be Gigi using a coffee table leg as a teething chew. I raised my voice as to drown out the sound and tactfully moved her away using my foot. I don’t think he noticed the teeth marks. much.

I appeased Gigi with a drink and was feeling quite pleased with my parenting until I saw Scarlett was using some of the product booklets as ski’s to get across a conservatory furniture display.

It was time to leave.

We didn’t really have a day of successful purchases but we did succeed in tiring out the girls who slept all the way home and went straight to bed. Hoorah!

Kids have a way of turning a mundane activity like furniture shopping into a whirlwind adventure day out. We laughed hysterically at some points and gasped in exasperation at others but all in all we actually had fun!

It was a good reason to have an Apperol Spritz the size of my head before bed too.


Day three of Easter holiday’s complete!



Leave a Reply