I’d had one of those days… I’d spent 7 hours meticulously cleaning the house only for the dog to run in with muddy paws and urinate up my curtains. My teething toddler had not stopped whinging and demanding shoulder rides around the lounge and there was absolutely nothing in the fridge which could contribute to a legitimate dinner so I had to go to Morrisons at 5pm to grab some bits.
The carpark was crazy busy, full of grumpy post work shoppers all driving around in monotonous loops looking for a space so I was utterly thrilled when I drove into the Parent and Child bit to see a lovely big space there waiting for me. Just then, coming out of nowhere a tiny blue car nipped into MY SPACE leaving me spluttering in its modified exhaust dust.
I was fuming. I looked at the cars back seats and saw no sign of a child anywhere and the young man driving it looked far too young and relaxed to be a parent so I parked my car directly behind his, opened my window and in my loudest authoritarian, slightly hysterical voice said “excuse me, you do know these spaces are for people with children?!”.
The young man looked at and me and simply said “Yep”…
At this blatant example of absurdity displayed by the man I exploded into a ball of frizzy haired rage. I left my window down, sat and scowled with my fiercest glower at the man whilst shaking my head in a clear sign of my outrage and complaining about it in raised tones to the baffled passers by nearest my car.
It was at that moment that the man walked around his trendy little blue car, opened the front passenger door and produced from it a genuine, real life human child snuggled up in a little car seat… The man smiled at me, held up his son in the air and said “Is that proof enough for you?”
At that moment I considered getting out of my car and lying down in front of it in an attempt to run myself over. I was and still am mortified that I let myself lose my cool and made a complete git out of myself to a perfectly decent man, innocently taking his son on a quick errand.
Whilst sinking into my seat I muttered “I’m sooo sorry” to the man and scarpered to the other side of the carpark to squeeze into a space which must have been drawn out in the sixties when everyone drove Mini’s when Mini’s were small.
Karma was not on my side that day and the punishment for my embarrassing mistake was to bump into the man and his very real child in every single aisle I ventured down.
My advice to those who also suffer from mother and toddler space rage is to make 100% sure that there are no hidden children before you verbally attack any other motorists…